What do you think?

It was two weeks after the day she turned 18


all dressed in white, going to the church that night


She had his box of letters in the passenger seat,


six pins and his shoe


something borrowed something blue


and when the church doors opened up wide she put her veil down trying to hide the tears


oh she just couldn’t believe it


she heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hands





Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go


I was counting on forever, now I'll never know


I cant even breathe


It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background


Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,


This can't be happening to me


This is just a dream





The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray


lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt


then the congregation all stood up and sang the sadest song that she ever heard


then they handed her a folded up flag and


she held on to all she had left of him oh and what could’ve been


and then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart





Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go


I was counting on forever, now I'll never know


I can't even breathe


It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background


Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,


This can't be happening to me


This is just a dream





Oh this is just a dream


just a dream

What do you think?
sounds like a song, i like it. nice work, keep it up.
Reply:it is a very good start....needs some work to smooth it out...good luck



skin disease