Am I wrong for letting this bother me? and would it bother you?

Ive just gave birth to my 3rd child on the 7th of this month, a baby boy named Kyle, we already have 2 girls.


The thing thats bothering me is the fact that hardly anyone bought my baby anything, some people even came to visit without a card even, including my mum, and no one bought me anything at all, apart from my partner who got me a box of chocs but thats hardly thoughtful is it? All other people in the hospital were bought flowers, fruit baskets etc and I felt really feally upset to have not recieved anything at all, especially not even a bunch of flowers from my partner. He and others have usually bought me and my other children things when they were born.


The other thing is that my sister is law just had a baby too a few months ago, premeture, and everyone made sure they had the money to buy her and her baby something, they spent a fortune on her on flowers especially, including me and my partner, we bought her an expensive bunch and also the baby a biggish teddy. Wat u think?

Am I wrong for letting this bother me? and would it bother you?
You are not alone, this bothers me and i,m a guy!
Reply:Giving birth to a baby is hard work you keep the baby warm and protected for nine months you deserve a medal like all us women do, if your partner had a thought of what pain us women go through in labour he would think so too.





If no one had bought me anything after i gave birth to my son i would totally tell them what my opinion was of them, a babies life is worth celebrating and so is the fact that you got through it i would tell your partner how you feel.
Reply:Same damn thing happened to me - with my third baby. We have two boys and our third is our girl. Yes, I had a shower but it was small, and people really didn't go all out on it like they did previously. I know it's my 3rd, but I had gotten rid of every baby thing b/c we thought we were done. I was and apparently am still a little bit bitter. Just choke it down and move on. Life sucks like that sometimes. Can't have it all.
Reply:I know how you feel I have had three and no one brought my baby or me anything. You know with things like this its better to not worry about it. I mean it only will make you more upset to think about, and ask yourself is this really worth worrying over. Hey you know when they have a holliday or something buy them something really thoughtful, it will usually make that person feel bad because they didnt get you anything. I might work. Good luck on this situation, I wouldnt let it bother me though, you got the greatest gift you could ever ask for, that liitle baby.
Reply:you think that's bad.


my wife died giving birth to my son.


all i got from the childrens grandparents was a court order trying to take my 3 children off me.


which i must add are still with me after 3 yrs of court cases


sorry that was harsh


you do deserve something.


especially from your partner.


you want to kick him in the bollocks to remind him of how much pain you went though
Reply:The thought you put this before the fact you have a new baby is ridiculous, some women would give anything to be able to have a baby and you are worried that people did not buy you material things, I say shut up and thank god you have a healthy baby and stop being so materialistic!
Reply:do you have a baby to get presents? sorry did you actually just have a baby and all you care about is that you didn'ty get any presents? To be honest with you, that wouldn't even cross my mind. I didn't even notice whether we got presents because THERE WAS A TINY NEWBORN BABY THAT HAD JUST BEEN BORN!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS MINE!


sorry but i think you're pathetic.
Reply:Don't listen to those saying you sound selfish and should appreciate your new healthy baby and blah blah blah...


of course you appreciate your new baby! But you are a human being with feelings! True, you may be feeling a bit more sensitive with your hormones all over the place but to not get anything from your own Mum! Come on,any one would feel bad!
Reply:You shouldnt feel bad. You already had two girls and that alone it probably the most beautiful thing in the world. And now you can add a boy thats great. I dont think i would ever want anything for my kids births. Also you are comparing yourself to some woman, of course they would treat her differently. What else would you want. You have two girls and a boy, you have everything you need. You may feel unapreciated now but give it a couple months. That baby boy and youre other kids will give you what you are missing.
Reply:Probably b/c its your 3rd one people tend to make a big deal out of premie and sick babies and first babies.





I would just be happy my baby was healthy
Reply:There was a time when having babies was a big deal, because it is so much work to contribute a new member to society.





But these days, with environmental concerns and world overpopulation, people generally do less and less for each addition to any one family, even though the mother's workload grows so much more as the number of mouths to feed and people to care for grows.





Count yourself lucky for all the attention you have ever received, and realize that from the 3rd one on, it is your own satisfaction that you are fulfilling when you bring more children into the world.
Reply:You have to understand that many people buy gifts for only the first baby, and then maybe send a card with the 2nd. Most do not recognize births with gifts after the first two....sorry, that 's just the way it is. You should focus more on the fact that you had a healthy baby rather than what gifts you got....
Reply:I think you need to focus on the more important things in life.





You just gave birth to a beautiful perfect healthy baby. That in itself is the best gift you could get.





I think it's really silly to get upset over something like this, be happy with your bundle of joy.





Your sister in law had a near miss, not all premies make it, and alot of them have health issues their whole lives...Would you rather have gotten a truck load of superficial crap and had a premie and all the worry and stress that comes with it?? Or would you rather have a happy healthy baby and no pile of congratulatory cards?





A thankful heart is a happy heart and being glad for what you have is an easy way to start.





I think once the hormones clear...you'll see things differently.





You're over reacting to something that is very silly.





Focus on the reality of the fact that you've just been given the gift of a new child...nothing Hallmark or the gift shop has can match that.





Congratulations!
Reply:Hi mate, i can understand what u feel ,dont let yourself down. Actually i will bother that if it happen wiv me. Just tell to your parthner nicely, u might get the answer.
Reply:don't let people tell you are being selfish or anything. Yes be thankful you have a baby. It would bother me too but then I would think to my self I don't care about thoses gifts, I can take care of myself, they are not that imporatant. None of my family showed up for even my wedding I am over it now I can't change the past, for some it may be harder for others to in other words "get over it" but you will be fine trust me. I have a sister that got ichy with me because I said I was 3 months even though I am only 10 weeks pregnant. I didn't reply to her because I was trying to be sensitive to her because she can not have kids yet so far, she has been trying to conceive for the past year and some odd months. I just leave it alone because you now have a baby that needs your attention. that is just the little things in life that don't need your anger or resentment. Always rememeber too the famous saying "it is better to give than to receive"
Reply:I think you sound really selfish. Just be thankful your baby came into the world healthy and happy. Material things don't matter as long as you have the necessities.
Reply:I guess its the lack of thought you are upset about rather than the material presents?


I got a bunch of flowers from my dad on his way from the train station, my husband gave me a charles dickens book!!


I dont think i got anything for my 2nd, although my female friends were extremely supportive.My mum bought clothes for the baby.


The third my partner took my then 3yr old son out a few days later and they picked me a buckt full of flowers from the hedgerow. My mum bought clothes for the baby.


So I do unserstand how you feel, I am fortunate enough to have friends who supported me and give me a gift or acknowledge my role on the birthday of each of my children. That does mean a lot to me.
Reply:It would probably bother me, but I am also the second born child so I'm used to not getting much.


Come to think of it, I don't think I got anything for my sister or her baby when she had her third.
Reply:Dont be too hard on your partner. I am guessing he is busy looking after your other two kids and hasn't had a minute to himself and at least he tried by buying chocs.


Good luck with the new baby x
Reply:First of all it's your first boy so that in a sense is to be treated like a first child I feel. Also, regardless of what number I think it was not nice to not celebrate Kyle the same as his sisters and cousin were celebrated. Truth is even if they didn't buy you a high chair or somthing they felt you had, a boy outfit or somthing practical even would have been nice. I'm not sure how you can remedy it but if you bought your son maybe 5 new things and someone asks I would say well we didnt get any new thigns for him and he needed some. Im sorry this happend. I woudl have bought hims omthing nice: )





www.violetgumdrop.com


a site for the young and the young at heart
Reply:Hormones, dear. Hormones.
Reply:yes, it would bother me greatly - how unthoughtful people can be - each new baby is a joy, and should be acknowledged as such





here's a hig for Kyle (I know its a small consolation)





Edit - to the people who think the she is being selfish, wouldn't it be lovely for the baby when grown up to look through the cards celebrating his birth or to hang onto that first teddy for the rest of his life..............
Reply:It seems that you are being a bit selfish. Be thankful that you have a healthy and happy baby boy!!


If you are still feeling down..leave the children w/ your hubby and treat yourself to a spa day....this will surely lift your spirits.
Reply:Its always nice to give. I would never dream of visiting someone who's just had a baby without bringing a prezzie. Congrats on the birth of your son and its a great name. Same as my eldest.
Reply:try not to let it get you down. rotten i know. mention it to your husband in a casual way then forget it and carry on.
Reply:I dont think you are selfish or pathetic i would personally feel the same. Im pregnant with my 4th child and i recieved the same amount of gifts for my 1st 2nd and 3rd children and i would be upset if baby no4 didnt get the same - especially cards! It's not for reasons of personal gain but because i have memory boxes for my children and all the cards we were given, 1st teddy etc are all in there and i would hate for this baby to have an obviously lesser amount - can you imagine how they would feel???
Reply:I see what your saying, could be just bad timing, not that you could help that, but you know that baby is gonna get so spoiled lol. Im sure no one realises you feel this way and more than likely dont mean anything by their absent mindedness. People have a tendency to get complacent with even the most beautiful things in life, not that they care any less, they just get use to having something you know? Try not to take it too personal, if it really bothers you find a way to talk about it with the ones you really care about.
Reply:aww thats shocking!





i cant believe they were so rude!





im pregnant with triplets and everyones been well warned





i want balloons and chocolates and flowers LOL





i know its rude to even expect things from people or demand them but the way i see it ,





9 months of back breaking pain.


9 months of sore boobs


9 months of being tired


9 months of generally feeling crap





and a lifetime of general worry and grief. night feeds and poopy nappys





you desever much more than chocolates





time to whip everyone into shape!





congratulations from me and i kno its not much but have a star!
Reply:Congratulations on the new arrival.


The only thing my hubby brought me was an eccles cake !!


Its still early,I'm sure your family are thrilled for you.


All the best
Reply:I think a healthy baby should be more than anough of a gift. I understand what you are saying, and I dont think it was right your sister got things, not you, but you got a healthy little boy. Let that be the greatest gift of all, and remember the people who have lost babies and cannot conceive!
Reply:Its bound to hurt!! and i am sorry, i know just how your feeling i have a sis who my mum spoilt her children and practically ignored my four beautiful girls And I'm sorry but the hurt never goes away just gets easier. bet he is gorgeous x



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