Careless Boyfriend?? Or just cant show it??

Here the story: My current boyfriend, Daniel and I, met in High School freshman year, 1995. We went out for a few months broke up and I moved jounior year (1997) and wrote eachother every now and then when I moved around until 2002. I moved back to the area and we hit it off again. We've been back together since 2004. I moved in last march and we just had a baby this July!Things have changed since the baby arrived. It seems like he wont help out much with the baby related things. He helps out in alot of other ways. He just doesnt seem to understand that I need help with more. For one thing he didn't go to doctor visits, help find a peditrician, find a hospital for where we were going to have the baby, birthing %26amp; breastfeeding classes, or even give me flowers the day I gave birth for 9 hours!! Tonight there was a fight over cleaning bottles. He said that "you didn't ask me to wash them." Is this something that I need to ask him to do? What would u ladies do? I love him, but please help

Careless Boyfriend?? Or just cant show it??
Kay well first of all, I just got over the biggest fight EVER with my boyfriend, and I can tell you this: boys don't get it. They simply don't get it. You could "hint" to them forever what is wrong and what you'd like them to change or help out with, and no matter how tired or exhausted you look, they're still going to ask you "what's wrong baby?" and BETTER YET, NOT OFFER TO HELP. Not a careless boyfriend honey, just a boy. Ask him to help for the same thing, upto 3 times. if he doesn't pick up on something after you asking him BLUNTLY 3 times, then he IS being careless. And if it makes you feel any better about not getting flowers on your delivery day, my boyfriend gave me a fryer for valentines day.....hahah (it did end up being useful though). My point is, give him another few chances, but make those chances OBVIOUS. keep in mind that if you say it in whiny voice (aka anytime we ask a man to get off his *** and do something), then he won't listen. You've gotta ask him when he's in a good mood, with a beer in one hand, chicken wings in the other, and you guys are having a "moment". That's the only time i can get through to my guy. I didn't mean to get off on a tangent: i just really hope you understand that your boyfriend is being fairly typical. have a fantastic day hun, and don't forget to smile and enjoy your precious little bundle of joy!
Reply:Ask him to wash the bottles,ask him to buy flowers keep the communication open.Walk an Talk!
Reply:You have to cooperate and communicate don't only get angry.


The past is past just tell or remind him to do something what you want .
Reply:I guess you should start asking him. Sadly most guys won't do it unless they are told to, and then the expect a "thank-you". Do you get a thank-you when you do the chores that you automatically do?? Absolutely not....but it's worth the trouble of asking and thanking them.


Good luck
Reply:You have to ask him to help. He isn't a mind reader. This is all new to him too.
Reply:Well, for starters you should specifically ask him to do certain chores. Some guys just don't know what to do but, will eventually learn if you ask them and show them how. Try it.
Reply:I kinda know what your talking about. Im the sort of person who wants to be needed. I get satisfaction from knowing that people need me. Its not perverse or anything but it has be the cause of 2 of my breakups.





Bottom line my ex's would feel that i'm not interested in them because I wouldnt do stuff for them etc etc. Then I'd say if you ask me to i'd do it. Then she'd say "i dont need to ask you to do things they should come genuinely from you". Then it'd be a neverending cycle until we break up.





Its simple, I (maybe your husband), just want to be needed. Show him that you need his help to accomplish certain tasks (even though you know you can accomplish it alone). Dont think of it as undermining yourself, think of it as an opportunity to do things together.





The above poster said it, communication. Very important.
Reply:i think you need to tell him that having a child is not an easy thing, rather it is extremely difficult, and you need his support and help with everything. i dont think expecting him to do something will really work, because some people just dont do those kind of things, they see it and they walk away
Reply:there are people indeed who are just not into things other people like. In your case, your b/f could be one of those men who see things by sexes....like this should be done by females...this by males..etc., but for the situation like this , a good communication is badly needed 'coz he has been missing out so many things already, things has to be stressed out clearly and let him understand how badly you needed help. Love is not the question here, it is how prepared he is to be a father and the obligations affixed to it....so i guess start talking now...and try to avoid arguments 'coz it's you who see things....who understand things, try to keep your cool ok....you can do it girl...be strong!
Reply:fact is that once you have a baby the guys "spot" nad attention is takin bc babies are A LOT of work...
Reply:You need to talk to him, the baby his here because of both of you, both of you should take care of the baby together.
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