Read my poem, tell me what you think?

Landing in Heaven





I woke up in the winter


With a feather in my hair


My feet were stiff and muddy


And my body cold and bare


Shocked at my surroundings


For yesterday 'twas spring


All the trees were blooming


Baby birds would chirp and sing


I'd danced among the flowers


Left my garmets in a pile


Soaking up the sunlight


Singing love songs all the while


I had glanced a feather


That was floating through the sky


I jumped and tried to catch it


But the feather was so high


I climbed up in a maple


'till my head broke through a cloud


I climbed my way to heaven


And i swear i gasped out loud


My hands lost grip and flailed out


And my heart beat twice it's pace


I fell down from those branches


And i've landed in this place.





By: K.M.P. "Cut Up Angel"

Read my poem, tell me what you think?
Pretty good pretty good, man.
Reply:Ok, I read it, now I'll tell you what I think.


It's a lovely poem. There are a couple places with small wobbles in the rhythm, but it is enjoyable reading, and that's what makes poetry work. I had a perfect image of a young lady chasing a wind blown feather in the nude, with no shame or thought about it, climbing and falling. You painted a scene with words, thank you for sharing.
Reply:I prefer your darker ones...it's not because I can't stand the light! x
Reply:Boring!!
Reply:it's good but not great
Reply:Its very pretty.... Good Work
Reply:Did you really make this up?


Its great no matter where you got it from if from your head,,its really good.
Reply:great! you can do better though.
Reply:it was ok but the last part didn't make sense. where did you end up? where you dreaming or still in heaven?
Reply:to me it doesnt make Thaat much sense but then, not very many poems do..lol. Its pretty amazing though, i like the middle, it really puts the image in your mind....nice work :D



performing arts